“Just a Kiss”

Written for the Carpe Diem Challenge #13:    write a Tan Renga.

Tan Renga is a two stanza poem with 5-7-5 and 7-7 syllables (5-7-5-7-7).  Unlike a Tanka written by one poet, Tan Renga is written by two.  Poet One writes the  5-7-5 and Poet Two completes 7-7.

First stanza (5-7-5):

at sunrise –
no words between lovers
just a kiss                                    (Wabi Sabi)

[ … ] your stanza ?????? (7-7)

 

~~~~~
at sunrise –
no words between lovers
just a kiss
fragmented shells bathed by tide
wavelets lap remorse to sea

______________________________________________

Other entries for Tan Renga Challenge

© rgb for “On Dragonfly Wings with Buttercup Tea”, 2011 – 2013


LOGO - TAN RENGA CHALLENGE new
(by Haiku writer – Wabi Sabi)

Prompt #13:  “Just a Kiss”
at sunrise –
no words between lovers
just a kiss

[ … ] your stanza ??????

About becca givens

Becca is an artist, poet, and animal communicator. She delights in cooking, nurturing, and sharing a rich spiritual life with others on the Path.
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9 Responses to “Just a Kiss”

  1. WabiSabi says:

    What a lovely finish to my haiku! Thank you for sharing it! You are quite right about the syllable count. Many (not all) poets writing haiku in English do not follow the 5-7-5 format which is essential in Japanese. My own personal rules include writing a poem with 17 syllables or fewer and three lines with the second one usually longer. (Although sometimes I write one-liners) I prefer to focus on the meaning and evoking a feeling rather than getting hung up trying to have an exact number of syllables. I love how you shifted the poem in a different direction in your last two lines! Well done.

    Like

  2. Sun says:

    and your words – beautiful way to complete the tan renga. 🙂

    Like

  3. What a nice poetic completion Becca. Nice to see you here again. You were missed. Namaste

    Like

  4. siggiofmaine says:

    Becca,
    nice inspired lines by you.
    As for the count,
    I am beginning to see the point of the emotion, scenerio of a different count. I adjusted mine to the 7-7 format, but for me, it was a bit of a tug of words. I almost posted both versions except for the wordiness I would have gotten myself into this time … I did 3 stanzas !

    Always enjoy your haiku and its originality of words and thought.
    Peace
    Siggi

    Like

  5. GrannysPlace says:

    I like this.

    Like

  6. becca, i’m confused. (and haiku challenged!) I don’t see the 5-7-5 and 7-7. I see 3-6-3 and 6 -7. what am i doing wrong?!?!? we are talking syllables, right?

    Like

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